Thank God its over

There was only one person in front of me at the voting machine.

Either he seemed to be having trouble with the new electronic voting machine or he had discovered some hidden easter egg, maybe a game, on the machine and was hammering away. How hard is it? Had he been older, born when typewriters reigned, I could have cut him some slack, but this guy grew up with me – when Nintendo 16’s reigned supreme.

We both know how to push buttons buddy, so pick one already!

I did my patriotic duty and walked out of the elementary school to a beautiful day. The sky seemed just a little bluer, the birds sang just a little bit more in tune, everything was in harmony – because after one final orgasmic blowout of political diarrhea tonight, I don’t have to listen to it any more!

Given how close the last several elections have been, then 8 years of Bush, I knew people would be more passionate than ever about this election. In fact, there is so much tension I sense that there will be rioting and people grabbing free TVs if the wrong person wins.

Campaign signs have popped up in every lawn like ugly little dandelions. Neighbors have turned against each other. Brother against brother….TV station against TV station. I am vehemently sick of MILFs, plumbers, and any other gem of bologna that CNN or FOX can sling at each other.

Call me unpatriotic, but I would honestly rather drop a hot soldering iron into my pants than talk politics with anyone – even someone in total agreement. The bottom line is both candidates are rich, some filthy disgustingly rich, and neither has probably ever had to dig a hole, fix a toilet, flip a burger, or walk 7 miles in flip-flops in their lives. Most don’t have a true sense of reality.

Sure, I exercise my right to vote without fail – I just don’t understand how people can be so passionate about politics. As long as the president doesn’t embed microchips into all of us or attempt ethnic cleansing, then I can survive the 4 years no matter who gets elected. If not, there are always some nice islands with my name on them. 🙂

Call me jaded, but after spending the last 2 years in mostly developing countries where saying the wrong thing can get an AK shoved up your butt, we have it pretty good in this country no matter who is at the helm. I have watched legless guys my age in Cambodia beg for the last swallow in my water bottle, they didn’t even want my money. Believe me, there are way more important things to talk about than what Sarah Palin is wearing.

In fact, just this little rant is making me have a gag reflex. This is the closest that I will EVER come to talking about politics in this blog, God knows there are a lot of blogs covering that topic already!

It is exciting to think that after tonight, the media is going to have to find something new to talk about every night….perhaps its time to get back to the important subjects they normally cover, like Paris Hilton and which celebrity is hanging out in rehab. 🙂

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One Response to “Thank God its over”

  1. Turns out they’re talking about what Michelle Obama wore at the acceptance speech. Surprised?

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