The 5 day water fast tries to kill me

I could feel every dimple and imperfection on the blueberry as I rolled it around on my tongue.

It was like eating a blueberry for the first time.  I could even sense its temperature with my mouth.  When I finally got bold enough to chew it, the flavor was surprising. So was the sound when I swallowed and it hit my empty stomach which convulsed in surprise and annoyance that we were starting with fruit rather than saturated fat.

Going just these 2+ days with no food has given me a new appreciation for both eating and the people spattered around the globe that can’t eat.

I am a failure.  After nearly 60 hours of starvation, just barely half way through my planned five-day fast, I had to stop.  When I woke up this morning my right kidney was swollen and it felt like someone had stuck me with a sword.  I could barely drag around the house, and to make matters worse, I had a photo shoot. Nothing like trying to get people to smile when you are pastier than Neo and can’t straighten up all the way.

I know, I know. I can hear the “I told you so” resonating all over the internet.

As soon as I posted the start of my five-day starvation period — also known as a “fast” — I received a hail of criticism on the web.

Facebook, Twitter, email – you name the network and the caring nastygrams came like a winter storm into my various inboxes.  Yes, I know deliberate starvation is one of my more pathetic, half-baked adventures, but isn’t there a thin line between genius and madness?

I do appreciate the concern, but I’ve got a date with a jungle-tangled volcano in the near future, I definitely won’t jeopardize that with voluntary kidney shutdown.

While consuming so much water (two full gallons a day) to fill my stomach, I assumed that I would be flushing my kidneys – a good thing, right?.

A quick check with Google confirmed that many people suffer the same back/kidney pain when starting a fast.  Apparently so much water  has the opposite effect on your kidneys, they aren’t happy about having to work overtime to process so much new fluid without getting paid back in nutrients.

All that waste rides a rushing river down to your kidneys and accumulates faster than they can clear it. Doh!

Fun Statistics and Observations

The first 24 hours:

• The fast was mainly psychological.  My stomach rumbled, but there were no other negatives other than my lack of concentration on anything not edible
• I consumed two gallons of drinking water.  I did get a rush from the sudden drop in sodium since I was not getting any salt in food.
• I couldn’t sleep a wink – half because of hunger pain and half because I had a lot of energy – metabolism change?

The next 48 hours:

• I felt dizzy because of low blood sugar and drank a glass of juice.  It might as well have been a tall glass of Absynthe – the sugar made my head spin and warmed me up immediately.
• I no longer felt hungry unless I saw food or walked by the kitchen.
• Energy levels dropped signifigantly and I had all the physical motivation of Jaba the Hut.
• Drank another two gallons of water, but my back and kidney were already starting to hurt – I knew the gig was up.

Start weight: 178 pounds End weight: 175 pounds Only a loss of 3 pounds.

Per about.com:  1 pound of fat = 3500 calories. Their diet calculator says I need 2,577 calories a day to maintain my current weight – wow.  Water fasting weight loss is possible but tricky.

Trying to show some restraint, I ate only a bowl of soup to start back in the real world.  My stomach is about as messed up as it was on Day 2 in Beijing – not pretty.  Where are my Shaolin mystery cure-all pills? 

No more fasting for a while – but I haven’t given up completely. I will re-attempt it again some day a little better prepared.  This crazy guy in Pai, Thailand (imagine that) managed to do it for 40 days!!!