“Mr. Rodgers, please empty your pockets and contents of your bags onto this table.”
I watched as the armed US Customs officer unceremoniously started yanking things out of my daybag in front of me.
The groggy effects of my trans-global flight quickly wore off when I found myself spread eagle with a man patting me down like I was a criminal. While he did that, his associate was flipping through pictures on my SLR camera. My passport had already been confiscated as well as my boarding pass for my connecting flight home to Kentucky.
Not again!
“Sir, can you please type in your password?” One of the officers spun my laptop around to me. It had been booted without my permission. Beside me one of the men was swapping flash cards out of my camera and pouring over the pictures.
I had done nothing wrong and yet I was watching my privacy evaporate very quickly as pictures of my friends were scrutinized in front of me.
WTF?
My wallet was emptied and even the picture of my niece and nephew that I carry was examined. I typed in the password and when Linux finished booting (I don’t run Microsoft) the officer gave me a dumbfounded look as if to ask “what the hell is this?” I tried not to laugh at his helpless expression when a second password prompt for X-windows came up.
It probably didn’t help my cause that the book I read on the plane and now laying prominently on the stainless steel table was “Hackers” by Steven Levy.
Rather than learn a new operating system on the spot he chose just to ask me if I had any pornography on my hard disk. I answered of course not and told him that it was highly illegal in the Muslim countries I had just come from. I had no idea it was illegal in the US as well?
“What takes you to so many countries, Mr. Rodgers? Did you work while you were there?”
I stuttered out that I had lost my job and been living out of savings - not entirely true but this probably wasn’t the time or place to go into the nuances of vagabonding.
And so for the third time in 5 months, I found myself somehow in hot water in an airport. Maybe I SHOULD start smuggling things, I would probably get less attention! I had been in my home country for less than 30 minutes and rather than a hero’s welcome for doing dangerous things abroad and living to tell the tale, I was treated guilty until proven innocent.
Unbelievable. Not what one is expecting after a full 24 hours of travel to the country where I was born.
Am I giving off some kind of Howard Marks air that attracts uniformed buffoons? I don’t even want to think about what is going to happen once I get a Colombia stamp on my passport next month!
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